I AM is a powerful statement that everyone should adopt as their personal mantra.
Although this post is coming from a personal place, I feel open and confident to want to share this with all of you.
All of us in our life has at one time come to a breaking point, especially when others demands on our very being set us on a hard and painful path, despite us thinking that these forces have good intentions for us.
We are always told to be ourselves, but how many of us truly feel this way? How many of us know how to be genuine? How many of us are comfortable in their voice, their skin, their opinions? Some of us live among these self-doubts daily, surrounded by the noise and clutter of what to be, what not to be, and how to change to be “perfect”. With all that goes on around us, we can get caught up in so many things that force us to reconsider our needs, emotions and thoughts. We question if we deserve to be who we are, if other people truly know what’s better for us.
I came from a situation where how I looked and dressed was so much more important than what I was giving. The relationship became a very hard emotional experience, with lots of guilt and pressure placed on me for being who I was not, and being expected to be conform to someone else’s vision– daily. I was not loved for who I was. I was expected to perform a certain role that I was not comfortable with. And because I wanted love, I allowed myself to go down that path. I say giving, but I am not talking about material things. I am speaking of things that many do not see value in anymore, or even care for: Love. Caring. Devotion. Compromise. Personality. An honest effort to be part of a relationship and make the other person happy. In this relationship, I felt imperfect and unwanted because of who I was, and nothing I gave counted.
Why do I have to struggle to have people in my life who love me for me?
The best feeling is knowing that we can come off this self-destructive path and rediscover ourselves, with a truer sense of who we are. Our inner roots exposing our limits, boundaries, pleasures and pains: what we really desire and what we are willing to let go of to live the life we want for ourselves. This comes out at the same time that we question whether the best thing to do–even if in doing that, our heart and soul feel like there is nothing left of ourselves– is to let go of these negative forces that have for so long defined us.
For those who know me, I am a girl who loves my jeans and t-shirts. And you know what? I don’t give a damn if anyone feels that it is unacceptable or ugly to them. If anyone feels that they can’t walk beside me, or they feel ashamed because I am not “woman” enough: not one to wear heels and dresses on a daily basis, or to have my nails and hair done all the time, then F*&%$#k you! I believe in comfort, not only on the outside but also internally. You can be yourself.
This is my story, my own personal experience. But my message to anyone who will listen is: Be yourself, and don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself or feel that the way you are and who you are is insufficient, wrong or shameful. Do not battle with yourself to be what you are not, or walk down a path you know in your heart is not how you want to be. You were born to be you.